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The idea of renewal keeps coming up. I see it in blogs, in magazines, in notices and everywhere. I just got back from an amazing vacation in North Carolina and thought about renewal and rejuvenation a lot. On Saturday at 6:30 am, the day we were leaving the cabin, I promptly woke up with a terrible sinus infection that I have been fighting, to no avail since. I called off work today, the idea of making the bed seems to be too much work, and I feel that a week of “renewal” is promptly lost in a wash of Vick’s vapor rub and tissues. Hello Sudafed, I love you. While we were gone, I had to renew my blog domain, noticed I hadn’t blogged in weeks and wondered why I even was? But I couldn’t NOT. So maybe there is some reason to not say good bye to my sporadic attempts at blogging after all. I do want to try to blog more. I have decided that I need to set deadlines for myself outside of to do lists. I need hard deadlines in order to finish my thesis draft, my short story book, and a few other things I am working on. No one will make me successful but me. I have also realized that i need to step back from my social life as well. This includes declining invites and making time for my work over my activity list. Again, no one can do it but me.

Now, I need to scald myself in hot water and hope that my nasal passages decide to work again and that my body decides to feel normal again. SOON.

Also, I need to somehow return some thesis books to the library that are no longer eligible for RENEWAL. So thanks for that reminder universe.

There is an ongoing debate at work with some of my friends and I over what the worst day of the week is. I say Tuesday. So when your week starts off with the day that you deem to be the worst one of the week, what do you really expect? I walked into work only to discover that my computer would not turn on and I had a fried hard drive. Thankfully, I lost nothing but it still was not the best way to begin the first day back at work after a holiday weekend. I was crabby, PMSY and mean today. Even though one of my friends opted to say “I love mean Lauren”, i chose to retreat and keep quiet and keep to myself in order prevent myself from saying, mean, terrible things to people that I don’t mean. So, as a result of that mood today, I decided to throw on some red lipstick, clean the shit out of my house (trust me the lipstick helps), and think about a few seemingly dumb things that make me happy. Hey whatever works. Tomorrow I am going to Cedar Point with some of my very bests and I can’t wait to ride the rides, eat some crap, get sunburned and people watch while laughing my ass off with some of the best people I know. So until then, here’s a list of dumb things that made me happy today and that do always. Hope you all survive the rest of the week unscathed. xxxooo

Dumb Things That Make Me Happy 5/28/13

Bath & Body Works candles that make my house smell like a bakery, counting out quarters for tolls for our upcoming North Carolina road trip, making my parents check in on THEIR progress of their road trip, friends that tell you that you are just fine if you choose to do none of the things you set out to do in an evening, day trips with your best friends, laughing about almost burning your face off with a beauty product, being around strong women who make choices to leave situations and people that are no good for them, yelling at mike via text about my sucky dinner because I cooked it and he didn’t, missing people who are just as busy as you and knowing that they miss you back, literary dictionaries, surprise messages, contemplation, book discussions, love discussions and ya know what else??? LIFE.

Shit isn’t so bad when you step back and think about the dumb stuff that really means so much.

 

 

I was supposed to have a thesis date tonight and cancelled because I realized that I didn’t have one single thing in order and that instead of attempting to work, I would be shuffling papers around. So tonight I decided instead to organize the shit that has been tossed around my bag, sustained water spills and growing dust to lay an action plan. It’s funny too how fun school supplies can help make your task so much less daunting. So currently I am organized, have a minor and very rough outline of how I want to get some meat on paper and I’m ready to go. The laptop is charged, my house is cozy and my glass of wine at the ready. Except for the last 20 minutes I have gotten up and down and wandered around and looked at my stuff to be worked on. I do this before tackling a big paper or project so I think it’s a good thing. Goal of this Monday? Get my start done. Even if its a title page and my abstract. I need to see it and save it. I’m tired of making excuses on why the dumb thing isn’t done. Tired of having it loom over me. tired of brushing it to the side. Time to buckle down. Wish me luck! Xoxo

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I have a terrible cold, better than it was over the past two days, but still nightmarish. Naturally I’m dealing with it at the start of the weekend. Going to see Madonna tomorrow and I don’t feel like having a tissue shoved in my face for the duration. I just got an email that affirmed that I’m heading in the right direction and motivated me to keep pushing. Which I will do as soon as I feel 100% back on top of my game. I may even blog more. Who knows!
Have a great weekend kittens. Be good. Xo

I feel like we all fall into a pit sometimes, for creative people, I think it happens more often and can last much longer. That metaphorical pit can be hard to pull yourself out of sometimes. You feel alone, stripped, tired and often devoid of pulsating emotion that keeps you sitting against the wall of the pit with dirty, tired nails from trying to gte out. Yes that is dramatic, but it’s also true. School used to be my motivating factor, now with an absentee adviser, no classes and only a 40 page paper and and following defense of the paper, finishing my thesis and actually sitting down to do it seems like the LEAST exciting thing to do. Sometimes I wish I never went back, and I bet when I start my big fat student loan payments, I will wish that again. I’ve talked to a few others who are in a rut so to speak too. Daily jobs take away from what you really want to do, and then when asked WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DO, it takes a moment to actually think about what is ideal anymore. There are things that almost seem laughable now when I think back on them. Broadway dancer in 8th grade. World changing activist during undergraduate school. Bread winning power executive at 24. Now at 28 I don’t know. I want to teach when I am done with school, I want to write, but have a paltry short story collection started and a few completed books of never been published poetry to my name. A smattering of early writing promise seems to have gotten lost somewhere between then and now. Nothing is holding my interest, I need a change and I’m tired. I have been reading more which is good and I hope that helps, but something needs to be done with the day to day. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been out of Cleveland since June and I’m feeling stuck. Maybe I need to partake in a cleansing. Maybe I need a new hobby. Whatever it is, I’d like to get out of the pit sometime soon.

“To whom much is given, much is tested”

xox

Got into hazy, humid Dallas this morning and checked into the Gaylord Texan. This hotel is seriously unreal, it’s huge, connected to the convention center, and is like a million little cities all trapped in a giant atrium. http://www.gaylordhotels.com/gaylord-texan/ Seriously, check it out.  It’s totally cool and totally strange at the same time. It’s  like living in biodome.  Minus Pauly Shore. Medicore Mexican food for lunch, amazing margaritas on the rocks and great conversation wrapped up the afternoon and I’m now getting ready to hit up a restaurant/club called the Crystal Cactus and enjoy the evening.

Hope everyone is enjoying their Saturday!

xoxo

View from my room isn’t too shabby!!  :)

Little touches like this ALL over the place. It’s gonna be cool to see what I notice.

I handle communication with our Japan office at work and yesterday one of the sales reps, who is in town, handed me a little a package from one of my contacts in the office. With an adorable little note congratulating me on the wedding, she had tucked all kinds of goodies into a sheer, woven large pouch. Beautiful. Sometimes the smallest gestures or just knowing that you are being thought of, halfway around the world or just around the corner, can mean so much.

Have a good day everyone, hope it’s a good one!

xoxo

What a WEEK. I’ve been craving my normal life back ever since the wedding planning BEGAN and now that I have the return of normalcy, I have to say that the transition has not been easy.  I intentionally threw myself out of the loop (much-needed, trust me), but now it’s been a struggle to get back into it. I had to inform friends (and facebook yuck) that I was back, thank my siblings and parents all over, clean the house, do laundry,  catch up with school work, and attempt to hold on the amazing rejuvenation I acquired while in Punta Cana. It’s been daunting. But I did it. And after catering tonight after work, I have Saturday and Sunday to get whatever I need to accomplished at my own pace.  Which is always lovely.  Exciting things are on the horizon, I feel like I have a bit of new direction and boatloads of inspiration.  Hopefully the florescent lights, computer screen, and 50-year-old psychic vampires at the office are no match. I don’t think I will let them be. 

Have a great weekend everyone!!

XOXO

He’s cuter than Prince William.

Not a bad view huh?

**Went to Girl Talk at House of Blues last night and had a blast. I love shows like that, nobody cares about anyone else, everyone is just there to dance and have fun.

**I wish that instead of going to college I would have just become a DJ.

**This short week, has been very long.

**Since New Year’s I have yet to add salt to my food. I am a notorious premeal salter and I decided that it was time to stop the habit. Good thing I like pepper WAY more. : )

**Mike and I are finishing our registry tonight. Yay!

**I am looking forward to a low key, relaxing weekend.

**Cleaning out random stacks of paper on my desk at work is really quite interesting.

**I love book shopping after the holidays. SO many good sales.  Picked up a couple I’m really excited to read.

**Both of my classes for Spring semester are online. AMAZING.

**I’m really looking forward to gardening. And I know that is certainly a LONG ways away.

**The snowfall today is very pretty, its soft and the sky is a dimly lit gray.

**Any time you find a teacup at the thriftstore, complete with saucer, it is a successful trip.

**Why is it that when you write down one thing you know you need at the store, you INSTANTLY think of 10 other things you need? Has anyone actually ever went to the store and successfully left with ONLY ONE THING. I haven’t I don’t think….

Have a great end of the work week everyone!

xoxo

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