I feel like we all fall into a pit sometimes, for creative people, I think it happens more often and can last much longer. That metaphorical pit can be hard to pull yourself out of sometimes. You feel alone, stripped, tired and often devoid of pulsating emotion that keeps you sitting against the wall of the pit with dirty, tired nails from trying to gte out. Yes that is dramatic, but it’s also true. School used to be my motivating factor, now with an absentee adviser, no classes and only a 40 page paper and and following defense of the paper, finishing my thesis and actually sitting down to do it seems like the LEAST exciting thing to do. Sometimes I wish I never went back, and I bet when I start my big fat student loan payments, I will wish that again. I’ve talked to a few others who are in a rut so to speak too. Daily jobs take away from what you really want to do, and then when asked WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DO, it takes a moment to actually think about what is ideal anymore. There are things that almost seem laughable now when I think back on them. Broadway dancer in 8th grade. World changing activist during undergraduate school. Bread winning power executive at 24. Now at 28 I don’t know. I want to teach when I am done with school, I want to write, but have a paltry short story collection started and a few completed books of never been published poetry to my name. A smattering of early writing promise seems to have gotten lost somewhere between then and now. Nothing is holding my interest, I need a change and I’m tired. I have been reading more which is good and I hope that helps, but something needs to be done with the day to day. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been out of Cleveland since June and I’m feeling stuck. Maybe I need to partake in a cleansing. Maybe I need a new hobby. Whatever it is, I’d like to get out of the pit sometime soon.

“To whom much is given, much is tested”

xox