I think I’m being followed. Not by a person, but by a band. For the past two weeks, no matter where I go, what radio station I have on, what Pandora channel I’m listening to, or what I watch, a Nirvana song comes on. This literally has been a daily occurence for two weeks. I like Nirvana. I REALLY liked Nirvana in my angsty teen years. RIP Kurt!
But man what gives? Is my fellow creative Pisces Kurt Cobain trying to give me a message through his songs? *I had another experience with getting a message from Mr. Cobain, but I will not disclose full details. Get me drunk and I’ll tell you. (If you see me at Jimi’s house you may wonder why I am unable to look at the Nirvana poster hanging on his wall. For those interested, it is the super creepy one with his head on a shelf by a bunch of vintage doll heads. CREEPY.) And the back story all ties to that. But I digress.*Maybe I’m just supposed to pay attention to that time of my life when Nirvana was a focal point. Maybe I’m just noticing the massive influx of Nirvana blasting in my life recently because I miss being a teenager, albeit, an angsty one. Maybe I need to jam out to some Nirvana Unplugged, light some incense, tear my jeans, spider mosh around and buy a flannel. I may just do this.
Who knows. All I know is I’m being followed and it’s not a bad thing. I suppose there are worse things. I could be followed by Dave Matthews….
I feel like I need to get away. I feel trapped by schedules, routines, to do lists, emails, and my phone. I hate getting emails to my phone, but leaving the little number on the mailbox there drives me even crazier. I’m ready for a weekend away. With my email app disabled.
This week started back to school. Everyone in Cleveland decided to go back too it seems. I’m going 4 nights a week and working a full 40 hour week on top of that. Apparently, I work better under pressure. At least I am setting myself up to do just that.
I said goodbye to my social life until May, but hopefully that won’t be the case. 16 weeks really isn’t that long is it? Okay, yes it is.
Time to get out of dodge for a few days, hopefully I can in the next couple of weeks. I saw a hitchhiker on my way to work the other day. For a fleeting crazy moment I was like man it would be sweet to pick him up to hear his story. Then I decided I didn’t want to end up in a ditch. Good thing I watch too many crime shows. I’ve always found vagabonds endearing. I know a guy who happily snuck on train cars for days, jumping off whenever he chose, with nothing more than a small bag and some cigarettes. There’s something so vintage about that. So carefree. Yes I know it’s dangerous and not smart. But riding a train into the night with nothing but the stars and the sounds to keep you company is rather romantic. Road warriors.
A Theory of All Things by Peggy Leon can only be described as interesting. The novel is filled with quirkiness, knowledge, characters both charming and alienating, and situations that are so hard to believe, yet so very relatable. Needless to say, the book is very complex and contains many layers, yet never loses the reader in too many images or too much dialogue.
Leon tells the story of a group of siblings: Mary, Mark, Ellie, Sara, and Luke who are all affected profoundly and differently by the abandonment of their mother and the suicide of their brother Peter. All the siblings are very unusual and all very connected both by blood and the cosmos in spite of their differences. Mary is the surrogate mother who never left home and the primary caregiver of their father, Frank, who suffers from Alzheimer’s. Mark is a physicist, a blunt and often clueless genius who massively lacks people and conversation skills. Ellie and Sara are twins and artists, one in Greece, the other in New York each with their own new discoveries that they have to sort through. Luke is also an artist and wanders, little is said about Luke. When family circumstances arise, the siblings all come together in their childhood home. Much of the story is told through the email correspondence between everyone and the novel progresses in chapters divided by everyone’s respective point of view. I love when authors do this; I think it adds a level of dimension to scenes and characters that lacks if only told through one person’s eyes.
The start of the book is slow and seems to loop endlessly. Mark and Sara are the hardest characters to sympathize with and the constant use of scientific terms and theories in Mark’s chapters make his early sections difficult to troll through. His character is redeemed and shown in a new light as the novel ends, but I never really liked or got into Sara. Luke, Mary, and Ellie are fun to follow throughout. When Luke’s girlfriend Willow joins the family A Theory of All Things really warms up. Peggy Leon does an excellent job of keeping the characters separate and entwined at the same time, they are individuals with very different tastes and lives, that is never forgotten or ignored yet above all else they are, and remain family. After the slow start, Peggy Leon was really able to captivate me as the story unfolded and I found myself pushing through quickly in order to see where the next person would lead the novel. A Theory of All Things, is a thoughtful and provoking book, one that shows that family trumps all else in the grand scheme of everything.
People pull and create and learn from humanity. There is no denying it. Art imitates life. And people imitate art. And people imitate people. Thus. Lives, dreams, and interests are copied. You get it.
The thing is I see people who copy things and take them as their own. Like they discovered a magical secret. And that secret isn’t really a secret when everyone else in the world knows it too. We live in a world of massive exposure and media saturation. There is little to hide. People that pride themselves on individuality appreciate compliments, mild imitation, and flattery. Not blatant copies of themselves. Also, resentment often pops up as some artistic copiers RESENT the awesome things these people do because their own lives and self-esteem are so bleak. We are all unique.
Here’s a novel idea: How bout being happy with yourself and be happy FOR others?
A few tips:
Create your own art. Daily. Be happy with YOUR own existence and if you are not CHANGE IT. The world is NOT out to get you, be out to get the world. Pull inspiration from the musicians, artists, bloggers, friends, strangers, that you admire, learn from them, but do not copy them. Work to find your own place that encompasses you and all that you love and admire. Stop being hard on yourself and in turn stop being hard on those you can learn from.
Essentially, life is too short to be miserable.
People need to be made more aware of the need to work at learning how to live because life is so quick and sometimes it goes away too quickly.
“Beauty to me is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick.”
Gwyneth Paltrow
I’ve been on a lipstick kick. As I mentioned in my post about fashion resolutions, I am vowing to wear red lipstick at least once a week. In 2010 so far I have succeeded on this quest. I went to MAC a few years ago when I needed a red one. You cannot buy it on your own. You can, but chances are, the red is wrong for your face. The girl at MAC asked me “Do you want Marilyn red or Madonna red?”. I opted for Marilyn red. MAC Amplified to be exact. And I have not been disappointed. The thing with red lipstick is you have to wear it, not let it wear you. Which can be a daunting task. Red lipstick works better and holds longer with lip liner and the rest of your makeup must be pared down so you don’t end up looking like a clown. The best way to maintain your red lipstick without ending up without it all over your face? Don’t eat, drink, smoke, and keep a mirror handy for check ups. Yeah. While rocking your totally confident lipstick you want to sit there completely paranoid that you have red goo all over your face. I don’t think so.
So. In 2010, I am on a mission to find a lipstick THAT STAYS. I mean there HAS to be one. In movies, they can’t POSSIBLY stop the take to reapply or edit out lipstick marks on glass every TWO SECONDS do they? Maybe they do. But I’ve seen people smoke and LEAVE NO RESIDUE. So there must be one. It will be my makeup Holy Grail. To find one that can get me through a few hours and a cocktail or two.
I asked my friend Lindsay, who ALWAYS is put together classically with just a dash of perfectly applied lipstick. She gave me two suggestions that she swears by, (one made it through her wedding day successfully). So I will take her advice and look into/purchase.
From MAC:
A longwearing lip colour that applies in two quick steps. Stroke on the special formulated colour base. Flip the stick, and apply the clear gloss. Soft and comfortable on…Kiss, drink, eat. Smudge, run, transfer and feather-proof. Pro Longwear Lipcolour is best removed with Cleanse Off Oil.
Bestselling Shades | All Shades
8 ml / 0.28 oz US $21.00
A longwearing lip colour that applies in two quick steps. Stroke on the special formulated colour base. Flip the stick, and apply the clear gloss. Soft and comfortable on…Kiss, drink, eat. Smudge, run, transfer and feather-proof. Pro Longwear Lipcolour is best removed with Cleanse Off Oil.
Newsweek has a feature by this same name, where they ask celebs to simply list things about themselves. So, I thought I would give it a try. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!! xoxo
1. I have a completely irrational fear of cotton balls. I cannot touch them. I never have been able to, even when I was little. If a cotton ball is torn apart in front of me, it makes me cringe. I have to stop now, I’m giving myself the willies.
2. I am a terrible procrastinator. I am working on this. I need to realize that things do not get done and goals are not magically met if I ignore them just long for the sake of putting things off. Now, I will finish this post instead of putting away clean clothes.
3. I enjoy re-reading books.
4. I could eat absolutely nothing but cheese and pizza for the rest of my life and be completely okay with that fact.
5. I like to make really stupid faces. Especially in pictures. I can’t help it.
6. I get horrible anxiety for NO reason at completely random times.
7. I have huge plans that I am afraid of not completing and afraid of ACTUALLY completing.
8. I believe in star-crossed lovers, multiple soulmates, and people who will ALWAYS be in your life no matter what.
9. I can give really great dirty looks.
10. I, by myself, ruined two of my oldest and very best friendships. Not a day goes by that I am not reminded of that. But all I can do is move on from the past instead of dwelling on it.
11. I am a people person, yet more often than not, people annoy me.
12. I don’t get angry very often. And I work VERY hard to keep Angry Lauren contained. It is not pretty, yet I have had people tell me they enjoyed seeing it because it is so out of character for me. LOOK OUT. lol
13. The scent of my old perfume, Heavenly, by Victoria’s Secret, makes me feel safe.
14. I have never been to NYC. Not that I don’t want to, I just have never made it there. Jamacia yes. New York? No. I intend on changing that this year.
15. I would like to duck into a limo in a hurry and have a glass of iced champagne waiting for my arrival.
16. Bad spellers in business bother me.
17. I am a HUGE champion of social etiquette.You buy me a drink, I buy you one. Those are the rules.
18. I’m interested in crime. Crime shows, true crime shows, true crime books, serial killer path0logy, the justice system, and criminology. I cannot get enough.
19. Fashion excites me. Especially fashion for people on a budget. I will always tell you where my boots are from and what a great price I got them at so you can go get a pair too.
20. Night Moves just may be one of my favorite songs of all time.
21. I do not have the time or attention span to keep up with Indie bands. Sorry.
22. Very few people call me Lauren. It sounds weird to me when I hear it. Instead, I respond faster to: babe, fluffy, lala, lboogie, lrizzle, L, rizza, lo, laur, laurlaur, bubba, jr., blondie, kid, miss l, and dude.
23. For some reason, I can sing every word of the Dixie Chicks first album. And I hate Country music.
24. Everytime I leave Cleveland, I have a blast, but I always miss it. Chicago, one of my favorite cities, always makes me feel like I am cheating on my little big city.
25. I cannot to save my life do math problems or parallel park.
Rhoda Janzen’s memoir, Mennonite in a Little Black Dress, is a heartfelt and hilarious read. 2005 is not a good year for Rhoda, yet she manages to pull herself from the mess and emerge anew. Her husband Nick leaves her for a man on Gay.com and she gets in a life threatening car accident soon after. Living in a huge, beachfront home she cannot afford on her academics salary, she returns home to her Mennonite family to recover both emotionally and physically. Although Rhoda does not follow the Mennonite way of life any longer, but she looks back and fondly reflects on her upbringing and the lessons learned.
Rhoda’s mother, the overly positive, devout and straight to the point Mary, is a nurse and family cheerleader. The reader is filled in on hilarious stories such as Rhoda’s conservative elastic waistband pants that she wore throughout high school and her traditional Mennonite lunches that filled the whole lunchroom with their stench once removed from the wax paper. Rhoda’s father, Si, a leader in the community, is gruff yet lovable, and is the strength of the family. The interaction and banter between these two is definitely a highlight of the memoir. The Mennonite community is a tight knit one, which Rhoda remembers as she finds herself dating, being thrown into awkward situations, and answering millions of questions from sympathetic and nosy sister-in-laws and neighbors.
Mennonite in a Little Black Dress is a feel good read without being cheesy or melodramatic. Janzen’s humor adds to the memoir’s appeal as do her real life portraits of the people who mean the most to her. The lessons she learns and remembers along the way aid her renewal and these lessons and stories can be used by anyone looking for a lift. Janzen is straightforward with her feelings and emotions and I found myself cheering for her in all situations. Nothing is more inspiring than someone who can overcome massive obstacles and changes to emerge triumphant. Janzen is proof that it can happen.
Often times people, myself included, fall into routine. Routines can overtake spontaneity and daily fashion often falls victim to routine. A hoodie, Converse, and jeans are often my staple outfit for running errands. Jeans, boots, a scarf, and a cute coat often are my outfit of choice for an evening out. I have accessories, I have dresses, skirts, tights, heels, and yet, I all too often reach for the jeans and flats. Or my trusty Converse. So for 2010 I resolve to clean up my act a little bit. Work on REFINEMENT. And I’m not saying throw on khakis, a scoop neck, and pearls kinda refinement (BARF), I’m talking pieces and parts to pull myself together a bit more even when I’m not going to an event. I think I just want to institute a bit of glamour, even if it is only a Wednesday.
1. Dress up on Sundays. Even if I’m in jeans, maybe some heels for errands, just to add some spunk to a lazy day. Maybe even some BIG hair.
2. Red lipstick and fake eyelashes together at least once a week.
3. Get away from comfy pants and tee to bed. I can do better than that. My summer nighttime attire is way better, and I live in Cleveland. So warm and sexy options are WAY limited. Seriously, Google, sexy, flannel pajamas and you will come up with NOTHING.
4. I can dress casually at work. While this is a great freedom, I feel as if I have let it determine my workplace attire a little too much. It really doesn’t take much to look polished for work, even if I’m not wearing black pants and a dress shirt, (my least favorite outfit of all time), I can still throw on a fun dress and accessories. Even if my 8 hours is long and boring, at least I can still look good.
5. Look to more than fashion magazines for inspiration. I love street style blogs that take pictures of real people, in real outfits. I need to pay more attention to what people have on, how they put it all together, and make notes on what stands out to me. I need to also pay more attention to art and design for ideas. No, I will not end up in Lady Gaga type outfit, but I can use these inspirations to expand my color schemes and usual patterns.
6. Dress up once a month and do something fancy. Or just have a dinner party and dress fancy. Anything, I always say when I buy a house, my housewarming party will be an old fashioned cocktail party. Cocktail dresses, highballs, and finger sandwiches. Old school glamour. I wish people dressed up for dinner, the theatre, and concerts like in the old days. Think about it, EVERYONE looks better dressed up. So once a month, I want to get all glammed out. Even if I just have people over to party.
7. Do my hair more. I know that sounds simple and stupid, but my hair is often an unruly mess of waves and straight pieces. It’s thick as hell, and actually DOING it requires more time than I often like to spend on something like that like. Usually, its dry, tease a bit, some hairspray and out. I can do better. Headbands, flat iron, hairbow, scarves, hats. I can make it work. So I am going to make a conscious effort to do so.
