I drank too much wine last night. Well not too much last night, but my head is telling me today that it was probably too much. I was cracking myself up, (Mike didn’t think I was too hilarious), watching the Cavs beat the Suns, and making candied almonds and cashews for the first time. (Thanks for the recipe Kat!) Anyways, today is my Friday and the end of the day cannot come soon enough.
My brother and the kids are up from Texas, which is fantastic, and I met Steve for lunch yesterday at Panera. (White cheddar mac and cheese? Thanks Panera!). Somehow the conversation turned to the health of one of our aunts who may or may not be doing very well. We aren’t sure. Everything is a big secret. Steve was like “Man, getting older scares the shit out of me. Your body just shuts down. You have to do all you can to take care of it and even then is that really enough?” He then told me a story about a couple he met down in Texas, 87 and 85 years old, still married and casually just said “well there’s nothing left for us to do but go to Florida for a few years then die.” Not to be morbid or anything, but is that all we have in the end? A dinner at 4:30 at a diner in Naples then death?
I’m bringing this up because this was the second time in as many days getting older has come up. And I don’t mean getting older as in turning 30, I mean OLDER older. Sunday night Jimi had mentioned how he thinks about it every day. I had to stop and ask him if he was being sarcastic. He was being serious. I think that thinking about getting older is kinda like thinking about death. It doesn’t scare you, it doesn’t affect your daily existence, but it is in the back of your head at all times. If it wasn’t, people wouldn’t have 401K’s, save their change, and say Hail Mary’s when their plane takes off.
Mike and I took a TON of blankets for donation to the men’s shelter on Lakeside, we were thanked by multiple people waiting in line to receive the shelters services, and the workers themselves. I have a soft spot for the homeless. No one will ever know their story, how they got there, or what they are feeling. The thing that gets me is the whole you don’t know what happened in their lives that got them to the point they are currently at. It could, essentially happen to anyone if you really think about it. That’s why I think the homeless are a group I will always go out of my way to help be it through donations, a smile, or buying someone a piece of pizza on West 6th. God or Buddha or whoever willing, I hope these people have a warm place to sleep and food to eat this winter.
I think the holidays make everyone a little introspective and self-reflective. You think of family and friends passed. The year that is being folded away in a blur of the holiday madness. And you think of the new year that is fast approaching. And you think of the direction your life is taking. The worries of getting older or if you are headed down the right path continue on beyond the holidays, and even though there are things to be changed or improved, everyone should be happy with their own little lives they have created. I know I am.
My dad always says you can’t go through life being afraid of anything, you have to be careful, but not afraid. I’ve lived my life by this. So I won’t be afraid of growing older and I won’t be afraid of what 2010 and beyond will bring. But I will be careful with myself and with others.